Peanut The Protector

When I went home for lunch today Peanut was too sleepy to get out of bed. I walked into the bedroom to snuggle him a little and then went into the kitchen to make lunch. I left the screen door unlatched (I usually latch it), my front door open (I usually at least close the screen door), and my purse on the desk right in front of the door (I usually hang it behind the door). I heard my screen door and thought maybe Peanut had pushed out. I saw him still laying in bed and went onto the porch in time to see the shady lawn mower guy hustling down the street (pushing his lawn mower). I didn't realize my purse was gone at first. I mean... the guy is shady. Who knows what his deal was. Well, it turns out his deal today was taking advantage of a silly WI girl who handed him her purse on a silver platter. (Did I mention how dumb I feel?) After calling 911 from my neighbor's house (so glad I introduced myself a few weeks ago), I packed up my sandwich and headed out to peruse the neighborhood for my purse. After all, I barely had any cash in it, no credit cards, an abundant supply of lip gloss... what could shady lawn mower man want with it? I did find it in the alley behind my house and saw a few cops patrolling the neighborhood. Let's just say if they don't find him, I may borrow the station vehicle (which apparently is hard to see out) and cruise my neighborhood looking for something to run over. After all, a guy pushing a lawn mower, probably doesn't live that far away. Fucker. I told Peanut if anybody ever entered our home unannounced again he had permission to bite him. I only wish one of us had heard the guy come in.