Seeing Through the Weeds

I've decided I need to engage in writing therapy more often. During my soul journey in 2021, I was journaling every day and then translating those musings into real life lessons. The process of purging thoughts through writing helped me better evaluate what my day-to-day activities were showing me on a larger scale. So here I am, ready to start again.

To say I've been through a great deal over the last couple of years would be the understatement of this lifetime. It's definitely too much to download here, now, in this short space. I trust that the lessons I have been learning will come up again, and I will have the opportunity to integrate them more fully and share those experiences as they arise. 

To say I've been through a great deal over the last couple of weeks would also be an understatement. My work life has been turned upside down. It seems we are in the process of shaking something loose. It feels like this is leading to a brighter future, but it is hard and I am facing big life lessons (aren't we always?). I haven't had the mental or emotional capacity to handle much more than my day job. By the time I return home in the evening, my first inclination is to cocoon and, on the weekends, I want to sleep and recharge my inner batteries.

In the midst of all the change, I committed to Reiki Master training. Honestly, it's probably the root of this upheaval, but I am also learning to hear the guidance provided by this higher energy. I have been doing a more thorough reiki self-treatment every morning and calling the energy in more frequently throughout my day. I've also started carrying a psychic journal to record the frequent signs and messages I receive and hopefully help me make sense of them in retrospect.

This week in particular I have been contemplating a wound I believe I am carrying from a past life. During a quantum healing hypnosis therapy (QHHT) session in 2023 right before moving across the state and starting a new job, I experienced a past life where I was forced into a marriage, abandoned by my family, and lived the rest of my life in solitude, feeling alone and adrift. When the QHHT therapist questioned why I couldn't leave, I had no answer. I just knew I had no choice in the matter. There was resignation, sadness, and hopelessness, but the purpose of showing me that lifetime was to demonstrate I have my own power. 

Since that therapy session, I have recognized more and more areas where I see this energy playing out in this lifetime. While I have been feeling like I'm being forced into a position at work, I also felt like I was being forced into a new lease. With so much change in the air, both instances initially gave me a sinking feeling in my body and a strong desire to push back against my oppressors. This feeling is not new for me and over the past week I came to the realization that this aversion to being forced into something is tied to this past life experience. 

Today I sat down for an automatic writing session. I lit my palo santo to clear the space, called in the guidance of the highest illuminated beings, spirit guides, and masters, to deliver a message for my best and highest good, and then closed my eyes. With a blank document open in front of me, I began by typing the question "Does this aversion to being forced into things have to do with my past life in Egypt in an arranged marriage?" The response was straightforward:

Yes. In that lifetime you were forced into the marriage and lived the rest of your days feeling alone and in solitude without your family or the company of friends. Your husband was busy with his own endeavors and paid you little attention after producing heirs.

I asked about more specific examples from this lifetime where I was dealing with this energy and received greater insight into the ways this has played out for me. Both instances revealed major life influencers I have already done a great deal of work around, but this is a new and deeper insight. I did receive a little piece of advice I feel is beneficial to all and was the catalyst for me coming back to this space to share. 

You always have a choice. To accept going along with or to move forward in the direction that someone else wants is not always a detriment. You don't have to have the strong aversion you have had. When you feel the force, that is you feel resistance, ask yourself "Why am I feeling this aversion? Am I opposed to this because of that trauma of being forced in the past or is there a real sticking point here I should observe?" 

To acknowledge the feeling and contemplate its origin, and then to move forward anyhow, is not a loss. There are no wrong decisions. Either path will provide lessons for you; some paths are rockier than others.

Know you have a choice. This is a choose-your-own-adventure story and you are the hero. You navigate your own path in each moment, in each day, and with each breath you take. You are the butterfly effect in motion. You especially are here to bring the light. You can do this just by being yourself in any situation. You are more of service if you tune into the frequency of the light and not the low frequency associated with resistance.

Whenever I set out to do automatic writing, I find reassurance and messages of love and light I can't see when I'm in the weeds of an issue. The words usually touch me in a profound way, reassuring me they do not come from my conscious self, but a higher perspective. I hope these words help you better navigate your wounds in this world as well.