So... I have not been to the dentist in fourteen years. Seems longer than it feels. It seems like just yesterday I was visiting the dentist .... a friend of the family who talked me up about theatre.... and my parents were paying for it (thanks mom and dad!)... or their insurance was.
I gave up on dentists early on in my "on my own" years. I've never had a cavity and I hate doctors... it seemed only natural that I no longer needed a dentist. Even though, with my first real job I decided I needed dental insurance...just in case.... and have been paying for it for eleven years without utilizing it. I feel like I should have good dental karma built up. (Wait for it...no).
So with a possibly impending job switch on the horizon, I hastily made a few doctors appointments. Yes. Me. I really did. I went in for an annual exam on Tuesday... or as I like to call it... tri-annual exam. And I had a dentist appointment lined up for this afternoon for a cleaning. Even though this is an event week, I felt as though it was important for me to squeeze these appointments in before the health insurance lapses and I'm screwed. I even went over with the dental office on the phone that I had not been to a dentist in fourteen years and I just wanted a cleaning. I feel as though my eleven years of dental insurance should buy me a freaking cleaning for chrise sake.
So after I start my day running to the event center to check in on vendor load in progress, deliver banners, and pick up event programs. I run back to the office to squeeze in some screen time getting a few things knocked off the to-do list before I run back to the center to unload and inventory groceries for the big show tomorrow. The refrigerator is not yet ready to cool the groceries, someone literally drives over a bag of groceries, tables aren't set up... need I go on? So I finish up there, run home for lunch, brush (and floss for crying out loud!) my teeth before heading to the west side dental location.
They give me the you haven't been to a dentist in forever song and dance guilt routine which leads to xrays and photos of my teeth along with poking and prodding and pain. They claim I have three cavities. And then they hit me with the cleaning bill of over a thousand dollars... plus more for fillings at a later date. I no longer can have just a cleaning, but need super specialized cleaning. In the retail world, my friends, this would be called bait and switch. So apparently I cannot just get a routine cleaning that my insurance will pay for, I have to pay for the we're going to screw you over cleaning.
I was beyond pissed. Especially since I had specifically asked when I made the appointment if I could get a cleaning when I hadn't been to the dentist in forever. Like I wanted to waste two hours of my pre-event day at the goddamn dentist getting raped? Yes. Where do I sign up? So, of course I declined their services and still had to pay $98 dollars for all the useless things I didn't want them to do in the first place... and still didn't get a cleaning out of the whole mess. (This is beginning to remind me of my first doctors experience in Springfield... for someone that hates doctors... Springfield is not the ideal locale).
And what do I have to show for it? I stupid goddamned toothbrush. The icing on the cake. They had to give me a stupid toothbrush on the way out. I don't even use a toothbrush. I feel like I just got raped for a $98 toothbrush. It is probably going to be a long, long, time before I trust another dentist.