A Message
Day 2 in Boynton Beach began by checking the weather. It
seemed there was a high chance of storms all day, so I ditched the idea of
finding a kayak excursion and looked for indoor activities. I reheated my
leftover breakfast on the Pampered Chef Deluxe Electric Grill & Griddle
while enjoying a cup of cold brew coffee I had set brewing the day before. I
found a spiritual shop called Guides and Angels located in the Boynton Beach
Mall and as it turns out, the mall had wi-fi access, so I was sold.
Upon arrival, the lady behind the counter was assisting
another customer, so I perused the wares in the shop. When Carolina, as I would
learn she was called, was available, I approached her to ask if she did walk-in
readings. She said a 10-minute tarot reading right in the store would be just
$15 as she was the reader and tending to the store sales.
We sat at a small, round table in the middle of the store
with a tablecloth and two wooden chairs. To Carolina’s left she had a wooden
box with cards and crystals. She brought them out and appeared to “tune in” as
she was shuffling her deck. She laid a cross pattern down and asked if I had a
past relationship that hurt me, which would have caused me to be hurt and
untrusting. I said “no.”
She looked at me, skeptical. She prodded again. Still the
answer was no. She told me if it didn’t resonate with me that she would do
another shuffle and start again, but it seemed like she really felt it was
accurate. She said that the cards wanted to talk about this emotional state,
but that if I had a block to it she would reshuffle. I did say that I wouldn’t
be surprised if a past life was the culprit.
The reason I say this is because I haven’t really had any serious
relationships in this lifetime at all. I had a boyfriend in high school,
someone in college that was emotionally abusive (but I knew even then I
wouldn’t put up with that nonsense), and a string of what I would call
pseudo-relationships. Nothing serious.
However, in an intuitive reading in the fall of 2019 (one of
the three big spiritual events I had that year, one of the others including the
Crystal Dreaming) I had asked about relationships as one does from an
intuitive. She mentioned that I may have some casual relationships, but that a
serious relationship was somehow far off in the distance and too unclear for
her to see to any certainty. She asked me if I believed in past lives, to which
I responded “yes.”
She let me know that I had a few serious relationships in
these past lives, but they were the boss of me. She told me that I was here in
this lifetime to play and have fun and I wasn’t going to put up with that this
time around. My eyes welled up with tears, as they still do to this day when I
talk about this message because it’s one of those things I heard and knew deep
within me was true. I’ve always avoided commitment and getting tied down,
even though I think it’d be nice to have someone to explore this world with.
Carolina advised me that she couldn’t help anything in the
past, she could only speak to the energy of this lifetime, so she drew another
set of cards and it gave her the same message. Once she got past the idea that
this relationship had to be in this lifetime, her message was spot on.
She said that I am driven and successful in other areas of
my life like in knowledge and things I can do and it is the emotional side that
challenges me, so I have chosen to push it aside. She said I tend to look for
faults in others, to see how they aren’t right, when I should be looking for
what connects us. This is strange because this is something I remind myself of
all the time. Being an introvert, when I’m heading out into the world, I remind
myself to look for connections with others.
I felt the urge to let her know how far I’ve come in recent
years…well in this lifetime actually, but recognized that defending my position
probably proved her point, so I just listened to her message and tried to open
my heart. My crown chakra was pulsing so I knew it was an important message
being delivered to me. As a matter of fact, the previous night I had awoken
from a bad dream to find my crown pulsing. I was awake long enough to notice,
roll over, and tell myself to pay attention.
The key takeaways from this brief reading were:
- I should be looking for someone who will help me be the best version of myself I can be and that won’t likely be someone like me. It will be someone who challenges me because they are not like me.
- She talked about how people give and receive in different ways. She said that I might judge the way someone is giving, but they are doing it their own way, to the best of their abilities, and maybe it is just how they learn to give.
In this short reading she really hit on some concepts that I have a deep understanding of, but apparently don’t practice in my own relationships. She was so right on when she talked about how I have found success in other areas of my life just to shut the door on relationships. Just the other day after hearing Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now, I commented to a friend that I could have just skipped the relationship chapter. She told me that everything is relationships, but it didn’t sink in like it did in this moment.
Carolina advised me that my birth number was 4, something I already knew and have done some reading about, but since she brought it up, I thought I would look it up today. Here is what I found that resonated with me:
- Organizing, order, punctuality, straightforwardness, and management.
- Analytical, practical, social, and even social reformer.
- Combo of traditional values and modern practices.
- Down to earth, detailed learners, honest, trustworthy, loyal.
- Powerful, well organized, hard worker, systematic.
- Great planners and managers.
- Aggressive, habit of criticizing, vigilant, and cautious.
- Make like-minded friends.
- Inflexible, rigid, and obstinate. Intolerant, judgmental, short-tempered, abrupt, argumentative, and quarrelsome.
- Make a lot of enemies, serious.
- Emotional, get hurt for small reasons.
- Lonely and sad, like to be single.
- Barack Obama is a 4! Also Fidel Castro, Alfred Hitchcock, Margaret Thatcher, Madam Mary Curie, and Bill Gates to name a few.
So there I sat at a table in the food court in the Boynton
Beach Mall journaling this brief, but powerful message.
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